I have just finished reading an epic book. The Hour I First Believed by Wally Lamb incorporates real life events from our recent history, particularly Columbine and Katrina, as well as those from long ago such as the Civil War and women's suffrage into a story that works on so many levels it feels like a skyscraper.
It is a devastating story of an inordinate amount of tragedy visiting one couple. There were times when I thought I can't read anymore because this is so sad. Occasionally some gallows humor sneaks in to break up the gloom. Nevertheless, I am so glad I perservered as the message of grace (the books title come from the hymn Amazing Grace) and hope that resonates at the end makes it all worthwhile.
The book may be of particular interest to those of us in Connecticut as local historical figures, settings and UConn basketball references are woven in neatly.
In this moment of history that is so challenging for many of us, I encourage settling in with this book for a message of hope.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
New Year
For a lot of folks I know, myself near the top of the list, 2008 was a challenging year. I don't think I have ever looked forward to a new year more than I have this year. Sometimes it feels so arbitrary, after all we are only moving from one day to the next. Nevertheless the idea of putting the past behind you and embracing the future in front of you is powerful. Tabula Rasa for the Latin lovers.
In that spirit, as I embrace the possibilities of the new year and the hope that it offers, I wanted to share this story of transformative hope that originally appeared in ESPN Magazine. I needed a hankie when I was done.
http://sports.espn.go.com/espnmag/story?section=magazine&id=3789373
Happy New Year.
In that spirit, as I embrace the possibilities of the new year and the hope that it offers, I wanted to share this story of transformative hope that originally appeared in ESPN Magazine. I needed a hankie when I was done.
http://sports.espn.go.com/espnmag/story?section=magazine&id=3789373
Happy New Year.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Finding Hope
Earlier this week my hope was at a very low eb. Molly expressed surprise and encouraged me to "have some faith" but the feeling of impending disaster dogged my thoughts and my writings.
Now that the election for a new president of our beloved country has been decided, I recognize this fall has been very challenging. There are many reasons to be hopeful.
I am now in recovery from hopelessness, a horrible place to be, and wanted to share an article I just read from Beliefnet.
Whatever the situation, hope is essential.
8 Ways to Increase Hope By Naomi Drew
"I've been so overwhelmed by what's going on these days," a mother recently said regarding world events. "I feel like there's nothing I can do and the world's spinning out of control." Her words echo the sentiments so many of us feel each time we pick up a paper or turn on the news. War on the horizon, nuclear weapons in North Korea, a family of six killed by a fire bomb in Baltimore, the massacre in Bali -- the list goes on. Right now, it's easy to lose hope. However, loss of hope doesn't have to be the path we walk down.
You see, hope is actually something we create. It's not something that magically appears from an outside source. We each have within us the capacity to generate hope. It's critical that we be absolutely intentional about nurturing hope in our lives and the lives of our children.
Now more than ever, overcoming fear and holding onto hope are essential. The eight steps below will enable you do this. Try these steps yourself and teach them to your kids. Do some of these as a family. Know that it is within your control to become more hopeful. Don't let the news be your undoing. You can take charge.
Be Kind to Yourself
Think about what you need most, and then do it. Is it a cup of tea, a brisk walk, some downtime, quiet music, a little rest, or reading inspirational literature? Whatever it is, grant yourself permission to do it, even for just a few minutes. If you're at work, take a "care-break" where you take care of you for a brief moment. These small moments accumulate and transform the texture of our days.
Create a Daily 5-Minute Silence Ritual
Light a candle and pray, meditate or reflect. You don't have to believe in any particular deity to make this work. Just silently reflecting in front of a lit candle is extremely nurturing and healing. This may be the one time of day when you feel connected to your own soul, and perhaps even something larger. Don't skip this step -- it's very powerful.
Curtail Your Intake of News
Oversaturation with news right now is detrimental to emotional health. If you read the newspaper in the morning, let that be enough. You don't need to turn on the TV or radio too, especially before bed. Consider putting a complete moratorium on news at least once a week. Anything you missed will be there tomorrow. Drastically curtail any news you let your children watch.
Treat Each Day Like a Precious Gift
Be vigilant in looking for things and people to appreciate. What if today was the last day of your life? How would you want to live it? Ask yourself this question throughout the day. It will help you let go of the countless petty annoyances that tend to throw most of us off balance.
Shift your gaze to appreciation. Who and what are you grateful for? Make a list each day and add to it.
Take a Break
Every morning, afternoon and night, take a 30-second break to look at the sky, breathe deeply and offer thanks.
Even though the world has its problems, the sun still rises in the sky each morning, and we're awake and alive when we get out of bed. Let the sky be a touchstone to hope. Think of other people around the world as you look at the sky, and know that we all share this planet together. Among all of us, we have the ability to create solutions to the problems that now exist.
Trust that this is so.
Express Love Tangibly
Hugs, words, notes, acts of kindness -- be indiscriminately generous with all of them. Surprise a friend with a hug. Hug and kiss your kids longer and with deeper feeling. If you like how the clerk treated you in the store, thank her. Leave your partner small notes expressing gratitude for kind acts. Doing all of this adds warmth and positive energy to our lives and the lives of people around us. It's also very comforting both to the giver and receiver of each loving act.
Say This Affirmation Every Day
Say this affirmation every day and see where it leads you: "I am the key to peace."
Most of us believe, erroneously, that peace will come from people or institutions much larger than we. Just the opposite is true. Peace starts with each individual and it will only come to this world from the people themselves. It is critical that we each create peace in the small and large moments of our lives. We must live it in our words and actions rather than giving in to fear, hatred, or resignation.
Make a Difference
Reach out beyond your normal scope. This is your opportunity to live your greatest promise, highest self. Don't wait. Each time we make a difference in the lives of others, we create hope in ourselves. By reaching out to someone in need, be it your neighbor, a Guatemalan orphan, or people in a homeless shelter, we add a little more peace and hope to the world. Our accumulated gestures of care and compassion will ultimately transform our lives and the lives of others. We are each the source of that transformation. Knowing this gives me hope.
Naomi Drew, M.A., is an expert on conflict resolution and peacemaking in schools and homes. Her website is learningpeace.com.
May the blessings of hope be in your heart,
Cruger
Now that the election for a new president of our beloved country has been decided, I recognize this fall has been very challenging. There are many reasons to be hopeful.
I am now in recovery from hopelessness, a horrible place to be, and wanted to share an article I just read from Beliefnet.
Whatever the situation, hope is essential.
8 Ways to Increase Hope By Naomi Drew
"I've been so overwhelmed by what's going on these days," a mother recently said regarding world events. "I feel like there's nothing I can do and the world's spinning out of control." Her words echo the sentiments so many of us feel each time we pick up a paper or turn on the news. War on the horizon, nuclear weapons in North Korea, a family of six killed by a fire bomb in Baltimore, the massacre in Bali -- the list goes on. Right now, it's easy to lose hope. However, loss of hope doesn't have to be the path we walk down.
You see, hope is actually something we create. It's not something that magically appears from an outside source. We each have within us the capacity to generate hope. It's critical that we be absolutely intentional about nurturing hope in our lives and the lives of our children.
Now more than ever, overcoming fear and holding onto hope are essential. The eight steps below will enable you do this. Try these steps yourself and teach them to your kids. Do some of these as a family. Know that it is within your control to become more hopeful. Don't let the news be your undoing. You can take charge.
Be Kind to Yourself
Think about what you need most, and then do it. Is it a cup of tea, a brisk walk, some downtime, quiet music, a little rest, or reading inspirational literature? Whatever it is, grant yourself permission to do it, even for just a few minutes. If you're at work, take a "care-break" where you take care of you for a brief moment. These small moments accumulate and transform the texture of our days.
Create a Daily 5-Minute Silence Ritual
Light a candle and pray, meditate or reflect. You don't have to believe in any particular deity to make this work. Just silently reflecting in front of a lit candle is extremely nurturing and healing. This may be the one time of day when you feel connected to your own soul, and perhaps even something larger. Don't skip this step -- it's very powerful.
Curtail Your Intake of News
Oversaturation with news right now is detrimental to emotional health. If you read the newspaper in the morning, let that be enough. You don't need to turn on the TV or radio too, especially before bed. Consider putting a complete moratorium on news at least once a week. Anything you missed will be there tomorrow. Drastically curtail any news you let your children watch.
Treat Each Day Like a Precious Gift
Be vigilant in looking for things and people to appreciate. What if today was the last day of your life? How would you want to live it? Ask yourself this question throughout the day. It will help you let go of the countless petty annoyances that tend to throw most of us off balance.
Shift your gaze to appreciation. Who and what are you grateful for? Make a list each day and add to it.
Take a Break
Every morning, afternoon and night, take a 30-second break to look at the sky, breathe deeply and offer thanks.
Even though the world has its problems, the sun still rises in the sky each morning, and we're awake and alive when we get out of bed. Let the sky be a touchstone to hope. Think of other people around the world as you look at the sky, and know that we all share this planet together. Among all of us, we have the ability to create solutions to the problems that now exist.
Trust that this is so.
Express Love Tangibly
Hugs, words, notes, acts of kindness -- be indiscriminately generous with all of them. Surprise a friend with a hug. Hug and kiss your kids longer and with deeper feeling. If you like how the clerk treated you in the store, thank her. Leave your partner small notes expressing gratitude for kind acts. Doing all of this adds warmth and positive energy to our lives and the lives of people around us. It's also very comforting both to the giver and receiver of each loving act.
Say This Affirmation Every Day
Say this affirmation every day and see where it leads you: "I am the key to peace."
Most of us believe, erroneously, that peace will come from people or institutions much larger than we. Just the opposite is true. Peace starts with each individual and it will only come to this world from the people themselves. It is critical that we each create peace in the small and large moments of our lives. We must live it in our words and actions rather than giving in to fear, hatred, or resignation.
Make a Difference
Reach out beyond your normal scope. This is your opportunity to live your greatest promise, highest self. Don't wait. Each time we make a difference in the lives of others, we create hope in ourselves. By reaching out to someone in need, be it your neighbor, a Guatemalan orphan, or people in a homeless shelter, we add a little more peace and hope to the world. Our accumulated gestures of care and compassion will ultimately transform our lives and the lives of others. We are each the source of that transformation. Knowing this gives me hope.
Naomi Drew, M.A., is an expert on conflict resolution and peacemaking in schools and homes. Her website is learningpeace.com.
May the blessings of hope be in your heart,
Cruger
Monday, September 29, 2008
Ideas that Inspire #6
Making the rounds in my small circle of friends and family is an inspiring book, "Heart in the Right Place". It is a story about a successful Washington lawyer who leaves her professional life to help her father and mother run a rural medical clinic in Tennessee. This quote from the book on page 172 is good to remember in these uncertain times.
I stared at Fletcher in hopeless frustration.
He said, "There's another way, you know."
"And what would that be?"
"You know how in Bible stories whenever an angel shows up, first thing he always says is, 'Fear not!'"
"Yeah."
"Well, it took me most of my life, but I finally figured out that he's not trying to comfort us when he says that. He's giving us an order. It's a command given more than 300 times in the Bible. The Lord's telling us not to let ourselves be afraid. We can't afford to be scared. It just gets in the way of us doing whatever it is we're supposed to be doing."
Tonight is the start of the Jewish New Year. I am celebrating. Fear not!
Do whatever you are supposed to do to worship the Holy.
Peace.
I stared at Fletcher in hopeless frustration.
He said, "There's another way, you know."
"And what would that be?"
"You know how in Bible stories whenever an angel shows up, first thing he always says is, 'Fear not!'"
"Yeah."
"Well, it took me most of my life, but I finally figured out that he's not trying to comfort us when he says that. He's giving us an order. It's a command given more than 300 times in the Bible. The Lord's telling us not to let ourselves be afraid. We can't afford to be scared. It just gets in the way of us doing whatever it is we're supposed to be doing."
Tonight is the start of the Jewish New Year. I am celebrating. Fear not!
Do whatever you are supposed to do to worship the Holy.
Peace.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
The Mum Sale
Last weekend was the 21st annual Mum Sale - a fundraiser for HopeWorks in partnership with about 20 local communties of faith.
I have to say that with the weather people predicting monsoon-like rains and winds for the time when we would be sorting and then delivering over 2100 mums I did not sleep well the night before.
Well, the rains did not come on Saturday morning. What did come were many many volunteers with an amazing spirit of cooperation and a "happy to do it" attitude. We breezed through the many tasks needed to distribute such a large number of plants and were done in record time. I left that morning full of joy and gratititude - joy with what happens when people come together for a common purpose, and gratitude not only for the weather holding off but more importantly for the folks who worked with such cheer and kindness for one another.
I have to say that with the weather people predicting monsoon-like rains and winds for the time when we would be sorting and then delivering over 2100 mums I did not sleep well the night before.
Well, the rains did not come on Saturday morning. What did come were many many volunteers with an amazing spirit of cooperation and a "happy to do it" attitude. We breezed through the many tasks needed to distribute such a large number of plants and were done in record time. I left that morning full of joy and gratititude - joy with what happens when people come together for a common purpose, and gratitude not only for the weather holding off but more importantly for the folks who worked with such cheer and kindness for one another.
Monday, September 8, 2008
Silence
A month ago I went to Mercy Center in Madison for a week long silent retreat. The fact that I was looking forward to silence did not surprise my family. I was not prepared for just how exquisite the experience would prove to be. It was a week of exhales after holding my breath for far too long. A bone-weary fatigue lifted.
Coming home from a retreat or a vacation, it is always a challenge to bring back and incorporate the healing pace that made the break so refreshing. The lessons of my silent retreat are with me today, reminding me to breathe and rest, whenever possible, in a place of faith and silence.
Peace,
Cruger
Coming home from a retreat or a vacation, it is always a challenge to bring back and incorporate the healing pace that made the break so refreshing. The lessons of my silent retreat are with me today, reminding me to breathe and rest, whenever possible, in a place of faith and silence.
Peace,
Cruger
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
What are your Spiritual Needs?
This spring I went to an outstanding workshop on "Spirituality and Illness" given by Rev. Tracy Mehr-Muska, M.Div, BCC She has worked in hospice and was sharing her understanding at a gathering of local clergy.
The spiritual needs of the dying:
Companionship
Acceptance/validation
Forgiveness
Love/intimacy
Security
Creativity
Family/friends
Freedom from pressure
Independence
Faith
Achievement
Hope
Avoidance of pain
Activity
Understanding
Being at peace with God
Feeling that one's life is complete
Feeling that one's life has meaning
Being able to help others
I had to ask mysself, "What are my spiritual needs?" and then, "What are the spirituals need of the young people we serve at HopeWorks?" Many of our needs are the same as those who are facing death. Where do young people talk about their spiritual needs? I suspect many do not even know that they have spiritual needs.
Those of us who know about spiritual yearnings need to talk about it, to give young people, all people in our lives the ideas, the language to talk about their own needs of the spirit.
With such a simple act we might start a revolution.
The spiritual needs of the dying:
Companionship
Acceptance/validation
Forgiveness
Love/intimacy
Security
Creativity
Family/friends
Freedom from pressure
Independence
Faith
Achievement
Hope
Avoidance of pain
Activity
Understanding
Being at peace with God
Feeling that one's life is complete
Feeling that one's life has meaning
Being able to help others
I had to ask mysself, "What are my spiritual needs?" and then, "What are the spirituals need of the young people we serve at HopeWorks?" Many of our needs are the same as those who are facing death. Where do young people talk about their spiritual needs? I suspect many do not even know that they have spiritual needs.
Those of us who know about spiritual yearnings need to talk about it, to give young people, all people in our lives the ideas, the language to talk about their own needs of the spirit.
With such a simple act we might start a revolution.
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