Finding Hope

Earlier this week my hope was at a very low eb. Molly expressed surprise and encouraged me to "have some faith" but the feeling of impending disaster dogged my thoughts and my writings.

Now that the election for a new president of our beloved country has been decided, I recognize this fall has been very challenging. There are many reasons to be hopeful.

I am now in recovery from hopelessness, a horrible place to be, and wanted to share an article I just read from Beliefnet.

Whatever the situation, hope is essential.


8 Ways to Increase Hope By Naomi Drew


"I've been so overwhelmed by what's going on these days," a mother recently said regarding world events. "I feel like there's nothing I can do and the world's spinning out of control." Her words echo the sentiments so many of us feel each time we pick up a paper or turn on the news. War on the horizon, nuclear weapons in North Korea, a family of six killed by a fire bomb in Baltimore, the massacre in Bali -- the list goes on. Right now, it's easy to lose hope. However, loss of hope doesn't have to be the path we walk down.

You see, hope is actually something we create. It's not something that magically appears from an outside source. We each have within us the capacity to generate hope. It's critical that we be absolutely intentional about nurturing hope in our lives and the lives of our children.

Now more than ever, overcoming fear and holding onto hope are essential. The eight steps below will enable you do this. Try these steps yourself and teach them to your kids. Do some of these as a family. Know that it is within your control to become more hopeful. Don't let the news be your undoing. You can take charge.

Be Kind to Yourself

Think about what you need most, and then do it. Is it a cup of tea, a brisk walk, some downtime, quiet music, a little rest, or reading inspirational literature? Whatever it is, grant yourself permission to do it, even for just a few minutes. If you're at work, take a "care-break" where you take care of you for a brief moment. These small moments accumulate and transform the texture of our days.
Create a Daily 5-Minute Silence Ritual
Light a candle and pray, meditate or reflect. You don't have to believe in any particular deity to make this work. Just silently reflecting in front of a lit candle is extremely nurturing and healing. This may be the one time of day when you feel connected to your own soul, and perhaps even something larger. Don't skip this step -- it's very powerful.

Curtail Your Intake of News

Oversaturation with news right now is detrimental to emotional health. If you read the newspaper in the morning, let that be enough. You don't need to turn on the TV or radio too, especially before bed. Consider putting a complete moratorium on news at least once a week. Anything you missed will be there tomorrow. Drastically curtail any news you let your children watch.

Treat Each Day Like a Precious Gift

Be vigilant in looking for things and people to appreciate. What if today was the last day of your life? How would you want to live it? Ask yourself this question throughout the day. It will help you let go of the countless petty annoyances that tend to throw most of us off balance.

Shift your gaze to appreciation. Who and what are you grateful for? Make a list each day and add to it.

Take a Break

Every morning, afternoon and night, take a 30-second break to look at the sky, breathe deeply and offer thanks.

Even though the world has its problems, the sun still rises in the sky each morning, and we're awake and alive when we get out of bed. Let the sky be a touchstone to hope. Think of other people around the world as you look at the sky, and know that we all share this planet together. Among all of us, we have the ability to create solutions to the problems that now exist.

Trust that this is so.

Express Love Tangibly

Hugs, words, notes, acts of kindness -- be indiscriminately generous with all of them. Surprise a friend with a hug. Hug and kiss your kids longer and with deeper feeling. If you like how the clerk treated you in the store, thank her. Leave your partner small notes expressing gratitude for kind acts. Doing all of this adds warmth and positive energy to our lives and the lives of people around us. It's also very comforting both to the giver and receiver of each loving act.

Say This Affirmation Every Day

Say this affirmation every day and see where it leads you: "I am the key to peace."

Most of us believe, erroneously, that peace will come from people or institutions much larger than we. Just the opposite is true. Peace starts with each individual and it will only come to this world from the people themselves. It is critical that we each create peace in the small and large moments of our lives. We must live it in our words and actions rather than giving in to fear, hatred, or resignation.

Make a Difference

Reach out beyond your normal scope. This is your opportunity to live your greatest promise, highest self. Don't wait. Each time we make a difference in the lives of others, we create hope in ourselves. By reaching out to someone in need, be it your neighbor, a Guatemalan orphan, or people in a homeless shelter, we add a little more peace and hope to the world. Our accumulated gestures of care and compassion will ultimately transform our lives and the lives of others. We are each the source of that transformation. Knowing this gives me hope.

Naomi Drew, M.A., is an expert on conflict resolution and peacemaking in schools and homes. Her website is learningpeace.com.


May the blessings of hope be in your heart,

Cruger

Ideas that Inspire #6

Making the rounds in my small circle of friends and family is an inspiring book, "Heart in the Right Place". It is a story about a successful Washington lawyer who leaves her professional life to help her father and mother run a rural medical clinic in Tennessee. This quote from the book on page 172 is good to remember in these uncertain times.

I stared at Fletcher in hopeless frustration.
He said, "There's another way, you know."
"And what would that be?"
"You know how in Bible stories whenever an angel shows up, first thing he always says is, 'Fear not!'"
"Yeah."
"Well, it took me most of my life, but I finally figured out that he's not trying to comfort us when he says that. He's giving us an order. It's a command given more than 300 times in the Bible. The Lord's telling us not to let ourselves be afraid. We can't afford to be scared. It just gets in the way of us doing whatever it is we're supposed to be doing."

Tonight is the start of the Jewish New Year. I am celebrating. Fear not!

Do whatever you are supposed to do to worship the Holy.

Peace.

The Mum Sale

Last weekend was the 21st annual Mum Sale - a fundraiser for HopeWorks in partnership with about 20 local communties of faith.

I have to say that with the weather people predicting monsoon-like rains and winds for the time when we would be sorting and then delivering over 2100 mums I did not sleep well the night before.

Well, the rains did not come on Saturday morning. What did come were many many volunteers with an amazing spirit of cooperation and a "happy to do it" attitude. We breezed through the many tasks needed to distribute such a large number of plants and were done in record time. I left that morning full of joy and gratititude - joy with what happens when people come together for a common purpose, and gratitude not only for the weather holding off but more importantly for the folks who worked with such cheer and kindness for one another.

Silence

A month ago I went to Mercy Center in Madison for a week long silent retreat. The fact that I was looking forward to silence did not surprise my family. I was not prepared for just how exquisite the experience would prove to be. It was a week of exhales after holding my breath for far too long. A bone-weary fatigue lifted.

Coming home from a retreat or a vacation, it is always a challenge to bring back and incorporate the healing pace that made the break so refreshing. The lessons of my silent retreat are with me today, reminding me to breathe and rest, whenever possible, in a place of faith and silence.

Peace,
Cruger

What are your Spiritual Needs?

This spring I went to an outstanding workshop on "Spirituality and Illness" given by Rev. Tracy Mehr-Muska, M.Div, BCC She has worked in hospice and was sharing her understanding at a gathering of local clergy.

The spiritual needs of the dying:
Companionship
Acceptance/validation
Forgiveness
Love/intimacy
Security
Creativity
Family/friends
Freedom from pressure
Independence
Faith
Achievement
Hope
Avoidance of pain
Activity
Understanding
Being at peace with God
Feeling that one's life is complete
Feeling that one's life has meaning
Being able to help others

I had to ask mysself, "What are my spiritual needs?" and then, "What are the spirituals need of the young people we serve at HopeWorks?" Many of our needs are the same as those who are facing death. Where do young people talk about their spiritual needs? I suspect many do not even know that they have spiritual needs.

Those of us who know about spiritual yearnings need to talk about it, to give young people, all people in our lives the ideas, the language to talk about their own needs of the spirit.

With such a simple act we might start a revolution.

Choices: Better and Best #2

Years ago when I became acquainted with the idea that I could move beyond choices between good and bad to choices between better and best, I hoped that I would some day have that problem. I finally am there, in a place where I have wonderful choices on a regular basis.

I have discovered the need to ask myself a series of questions before leaping into the next adventure.

Do I have the energy to enjoy this?
What else do I need to let go of for this to work?

Until I find a way to live that allows me to have several concurrent lives, I often have to choose between outstanding options. How to do this? Sometimes it is easy because my energy for one activity is so high. Often I need to talk it out with a trusted listener and somehow my inner sense of the next steps is always revealed.

May you too live a life that offers delightful options in such abundance that you have to choose between better and best.

Ideas that Inspire # 5

Some inspiring words from Thomas Merton for all times of the year but especially in the summer.

"The rush and pressure of modern life are a form, perhaps the most common form, of innate violence. To allow oneself to be carried away by a multitude of conflicting concerns, to surrender to too many demands, to commit oneself to too many projects, to want to help everyone in everything is to succumb to violence. More than that, it is cooperation with violence. The frenzy of the activist neutralizes his work for peace. It destroys her own inner capacity for peace. It destroys the fruitfulness of his own work because it kills the root of inner wisdom which makes work fruitful."

Maintaining inner peace requires saying "No" sometimes.

Peace,
Cruger

Choosing Between Better and Best

A friend shared yesterday an exercise she learned with a tape measure. You ask yourself, "How old do I think I will be when I am no longer able to do those things I most love?" Then using each inch on the tape measure to represent a year of your life, figure out visually where you are now, how much of your life is behind you and how much time you have left. My friend was surprised and a bit disturbed. Try it for yourself.

I have always had a pressing sense that death could be just around the corner, i.e. every sharp headache that persisted could be the final harbinger of my demise, etc. This trait has most certainly been an ordeal for those closest to me. However for me, it has added a sense of urgency to my desire to live more fully, with maximum awareness and kindness.

Is there more routine than meaning in our days? We all need to examine what gives our life meaning/joy and find ways to increase time for those pursuits. Life is always to short for anything less.

Blessings-

Ideas that Inspire #3

This is a Traditional Native American prayer that puts things into perspective for me. I always have to remember not to sweat the small stuff.

The first six lines will suffice and are easy to memorize for those times when only a heart touching prayer will do.

"O, Great spirit,
whose voice I hear in the wind,
whose breath gives life to all the world,
Hear me! I am small and weak.
I need your strength and wisdom.
Let me walk in beauty,
and make my eyes ever behold the red and purple sunset.
Make my hands respect the things you have made
and my ears sharp to hear your voice.
Make me wise so that I may
understand the things you have taught my people.
Let me learn the lessons you have hidden in every leaf and rock.
I seek strength, not to be greater than my brother, but to fight my greatest enemy - myself.
Make me always ready to come to you with clean hands and straight eyes.
So when life fades, as the fading sunset,
my spirit may come to you without shame.
Ho!"

George Carlin

I heard sad news that George Carlin died today at age 71. I first became acquainted with Carlin as a teenager. I had a record album which included the risque routine, "The Seven Words You Can't Say on Television". I remember my mother coming into the living room and initially reacting with horror as to what we were listening to. Moments later, despite her best efforts not to, she would be laughing along with us. His career saw him move from a rebel comedian to a wise social commentator of our times. Here is a taste:

"The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom.

Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."

I will miss him.

What I learned when I turned 50

I turned 50 over this past weekend. My wonderful husband Jim put together an absolutely amazing party. There were several groupings of musicians and I was serenaded with everything from "Long May You Run" ( which I believe was originally written about a car, but who cares) to a searing version of Carlos Santana's "Europa". There was also a group participation number of "Midnight Train to Georgia" that featured about fifteen Pips impersonators.

The highlight of the evening was, cornily enough, having my dear friends and family sing "Happy Birthday to You" to me. I looked at out a sea of beautiful smiling faces and at that moment I felt like Jimmy Stewart at the end of "It's a Wonderful Life", when his brother Harry makes a toast "to my brother George, the richest man in the world." George Bailey then finds a book that has been inscribed by his angel Clarence that reads, "Dear George, Remember no man is a failure who has friends."

I am rich in friends and I am very blessed for this.

I had thought hitting this milestone might be difficult. It turned out not to be that way at all. Instead, it made me realize how rich my life has been because of the people I have known and loved.

Truth over Harmony

In the past few years the expression "Truth over Harmony" has become my parenting mantra. I would like to say that I came up with this idea on my own. However, it is something I have learned from a first-rate book on creating a character culture within one's family called, The Biggest Job We'll Ever Have. The authors, Malcolm and Laura Gauld, have devised a list of Ten Priorities to help parents do their job. Truth Over Harmony is number one.

The concept of Truth over Harmony is simple. It espouses the notion that most families pick harmony over truth. In an effort to maintain civility and avoid conflict, family members are not honest with one another. How many times have you let things slide in order to keep the peace? How often have you done something for your child instead of asking them to do it because it would prevent an unpleasant confrontation. I know I used to do that all the time. The problem is that in choosing harmony we are also choosing dishonesty.

For the conflict-avoidant this is a difficult mindset to embrace, but I assure you that in the long run the dividends are huge.

Two Wolves

Two Wolves

An elder Cherokee Native American was teaching her grandchildren about life. She said to them, “A fight is going on inside me… it is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves.

One wolf represents fear, anger, envy, sorrow, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and self importance.

The other stands for joy, peace, love, hope, sharing, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, friendship, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.

This same fight is going on inside of you and inside of every other person too.”

The grandchildren thought about this for a bit and then one child asked his grandmother, “Which wolf will win?”

The old wise woman simply replied, “The one you feed.”

Keep feeding the right wolf.


I cannot remember when I first heard this story but it is as helpful today as ever. Those negative emotions can get a fierce grip and over shadow the positive, especially when I'm tired. Thank God for weekends!

Peace

Ideas that Inspire #1

"The practice of mindfulness is the practice of love. Mindfulness relieves suffering because it is filled with understanding and compassion. When our mindfulness embraces those we love, they bloom like flowers." Unknown author

The challenge for me is to be awake, not enabling or practicing denial for the sake of peace, as well as not over or underreacting. Being kind enough to be honest and treat others as I want to be treated is my version of mindfulness. Recognizing every person as a child of Divine possibilities makes this the only option.

Blessings,

Cruger

Welcome

Welcome to Chapter One of the HopeWorks blog. It is our intention to create a venue that offers a healthy mix of spirit, humor, and common sense advice in a setting that mirrors our organizational values of compassion and kindness.